Checking in

...with ourselves, and with each other. Not signing in, or checking up on, but checking in. It's how I stay on track, with my faith, with my health, with my moral convictions (no, not that kind of conviction, I've never been arrested...)

As a kid, I was as close to a blank slate as possible. We all are. We learn right from wrong, we learn how to succeed, how to fail, how to make friends, how to make enemies, how to treat one another in a civil society. As I've grown older, I've found (or re-found) my religion, and defined what it means for me, I've come to terms with my health and ultimately my mortality, I've learned how to make friends, and how to be a friend, and I've learned that no matter how hard I try, some people just aren't going to like me....and yes, I have learned to be ok with that.

That is a tremendous amount of learning, and that doesn't count the disciplines of academia (one letter away from my favorite nut). Disciplines are important. I have learned, as a self employed business owner, the disciplines necessary to remain successful. One of those disciplines for me is to write down my first actions for the next day every evening before going to bed, or going on to do something enjoyable at the end of the day.

Checking in is a discipline. Without it, I for one may easily loose my way. My business requires me to have a very broad world view, accepting all, living, and letting live, learning what I can from what I like, and letting that which I don't, roll off my shoulder like water off a duck's back. My own personal and family life has a much narrower world view. It's the filter through which I am able to gather valuable information from my public life and apply it to my personal life.

This is where checking in comes in. We all hold our family values a little closer to the vest than our public views to one degree or another. It's why we feel the need to shield our kids from some things - they have not yet developed this filter.

Temptation to move outside our own personal convictions is all around us, bombarding us every day from all sides, Television, the Internet, the grocery store or restaurant, movies, and even large gatherings of people. I am not talking about any specific temptation here. In fact, I consider them all the same. A temptation is simply something that tempts you away from your core beliefs, morals, and values.

Anthony Robbins calls it your "Hour of Power" Buddhists call it Meditation, The western religions of Christian, Jewish and Muslim call it prayer. It's really a universal concept. What isn't so universal is how it's applied. Checking in should apply to every aspect of the way we have learned to live our lives.

I just began the South Beach Diet. I am not endorsing it above any other, but I will say what I have found profoundly valuable is the way it has forced me to check in. I am not fat by most standards, a shade over 150 at 5'6.5", but I have, since my dad passed away 8 years ago considered myself healthy, and put a strong emphasis on eating right and regular exercise. The first phase of this nutritional lifestyle has forced me to take a hard look at what I am eating, and how it affects me. I've been on it for less than a week, but already I have decided I will repeat this 2 week process next year.

We check in with the things that are most important to us, the people and values we hold most dear. I check in with my faith every week, I check in with my fitness level a couple times a week. I am guessing checking in with my diet once a year will be enough for me, but I may find I need to do that more often. we'll see. I am also in a relationship with an exceptional woman, and I am learning we need to check in with each other now and again. In fact I am learning it's more important to check in with your family members (and yes, if you are in a committed, long term relationship with someone, they are part of your family) than anything except checking in with yourself. It is this self check in that allows you to check in with one another. It's how you are able to re-align, and know your thoughts are matching your words, and words matching your actions. When you've checked in with yourself, you can be ready when your family member sees something you already realized is there. What's more, when you check in with your family members, you can be ready when they see something you didn't to accept the new observation, and discuss it rationally.

When is the last time you checked in? If you don't remember, perhaps it's time to make an appointment with yourself. A morning meditation, and evening meditation, both, try them all, when you find one that works for you, stick with it. Then ask yourself where else in your life you need to check in, and find a proper time and place for that. It need not be a long time. 5 minutes, 15 minutes, 30 minutes. Whatever it turns out to be for you, with each check-in I believe you will find yourself getting more out of every aspect of your life. I know I have. :) Cheers!

M&M